Fan Fiction Live!
Listen! Watch!
Last month we threw two readings based around Fan Fiction, my self-published novella about a writer named Tavi and her obsession with Taylor Swift. “We” is me and Heavy Manners, the independent library that prints and sells gorgeous editions of the zine, also a place that makes me feel like I can make anything!
The first night, Cristin Milioti joined to help me read Part 3, the “emails” between “Tavi” and “Taylor.” It was the most fun I’ve had in 100 years. Listen:
The second night, I read from Part 2, the “confession.”
Shoutout to this outfit for looking like hard candy and to my giant chartreuse silk scrunchie by Shriya aka Samavai.
My face hurt from smiling through very moving readings by Briana Gonzalez, Maya Binyam, Taneum Bambrick, Dylan Tupper Rupert, Marie Lodi, and Ruby Zuckerman. I was like “read something kind of related to the zine if you can?” and then they totally made its themes 3D!!! There were pieces about trying to photograph natural phenomena, memorializing a family home, working in archives, dreaming of reality TV, sisters meeting in dreams, Marie’s classic Love Story/Ghost Story…it was like flying through their fantasies, dreams, memories, secondhand memories, and attempts to preserve the past. So really it was…5D? 8D?
Both nights were so special and felt like lil Rookie reunions: Rookie writers, Rookie readers I first met as teens, my DAD. I was also aware of how different they felt from when I was 15-22. (No shit.) (Stay with me.) Back then, everything felt so weighted with symbolism that Rookie events left me with an almost feverish sense of belonging. There was crying, dancing, bonding. The thrill of the internet coming to life and the relief that strangers could be so wholesome. We’re all gonna be okay! The world is good! Also, people like me! They were so earnest and — I hate this word now — pure. (“Tavi” discusses this feeling in the zine.)
This was a much simpler experience: great readings, a warm crowd, a shared need to be together, lovely interactions. I also discovered the absence of a kind of reaction I used to have to meeting Rookie readers as teens: So sweet! So cute! On some level, Such potential for more coolness! Which was how many adults responded to ME. It’s not, like, an immoral reaction, but it’s predicated on a person’s youth, over which they have no control. So, it was nice to meet and re-meet Rookies as adults with agency, sans strange internalized ways of valuing young people for their potential (hey what’s that about), and to just be like…damn. There are a lot of cool people out there.
Hope it doesn’t sound like my first day on Earth!
If you were there, thank you so much for coming, this was really fun and I hope to do more!
Now some odds and ends in the spirit of Fan Fiction and the DIY energy it continues to give me…
PLAYLIST
QUIZ
If you too were inspired and moved by Matt Wolf’s gobsmacking Paul Reubens documentary…
(someone develop this as a full quiz pls) (I’m d) (Matt gave notes on Fan Fiction and was the one who suggested I publish it as a zine which was absolutely right!)
BOOKS THAT CREATIVELY INTEGRATE OTHER PEOPLE’S WRITING TO SHOW THE CREATION OF A SELF
The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson
Constructing a Nervous System by Margo Jefferson
Are You My Mother? by Alison Bechdel
MORE FAN FICTION TALK
Rayne Fisher-Quann interviewed me about it. She ofc had very thoughtful questions and observations. One of our best!